Used to Fear

I used to fear
that I'd one day fade away
be nothing but dust
upon chaotic breeze
the sighs of breath
we call humanity

I used to fear
placing my hand in sunshine
with the sadness of twilight rain
washing out
the chambers of my unused heart
like an abandoned gutter
choked with decaying leaves

I used to fear
people's wry smiles
as they passed me by
on windy streets
my hair entangled and bedraggled
with the scent of exhaust
of moving cars
perfume I lived by

I used to fear
the coming of night
after the false serenity
of magical sunsets
the glow miasmic
before calling forth starkly
the clarity of cold stars

I used to have fear
of the world
around me
such lies in
receptions of sounds
light fabricating promises
that most don't live by

until
that day
I saw the fish
that swam in the desert

an aquarium tank
the glittered scales
of beauty in motion
mouth opening
with hypnotic intent
eyes large and orbital
no judgement for me
its vision was clear

we regarded each other
there was no fear

in my appreciation
I forgot about others
that surrounded me
until the fear
just melted away

blowing the fish a kiss - X -

not caring about
who was near

X